i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
