im six kinds of drunk right now
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
