Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
