It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize