so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
is that a dick in a sweater?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
