Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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