I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
