New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
