i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
