i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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