I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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