peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize