About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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