He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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