quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
