All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
