its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
