I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
