somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i now understand why vodka
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
