He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize