He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Congratulations! We have a period
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