there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
