I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
