I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
