I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
