Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
