He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
