I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
