Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The air was thick with penises
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
