a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
