On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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