I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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