How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
