Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
