This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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