Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my liver is dry heaving
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
ok first of all what the fuck
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
