Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
