u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
