I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
