oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
