If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
