weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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