Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
