I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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