No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
