She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
