never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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