RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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