Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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