i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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