One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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