she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
