I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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