So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
