Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
