let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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