Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
