Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
