Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
