hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
