I got her a Nickelback box set.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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