I got chris browned last night
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
