I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
