some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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