she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
