You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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