I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
