did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can I color on your dick again?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
