If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
